“Choosing What is Better” – Sermon on July 21, 2013
July 21, 2013
Scripture – Luke 10: 38-42
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Sermon: Choosing What is Better
by Rev. Doreen Oughton
Are people familiar with this story? Do you like it? Now I know a lot of people who don’t like it, especially women, especially Martha-type women – women who are busy and productive and get things done. I’ve always liked this story, being a more Mary-like person myself. I’d look into a holiday preparation kitchen humming with activity, and say, “I’d just be in the way,” and go sit down and read somewhere – my buble of course (no, not really). As I began to take more seriously the notion of being a servant of God, I still might not enter the busy kitchen, but I would go in afterwards to clean up, or I might set the table, do something. I don’t know if that is what made me imagine more what Martha’s experience was, but my heart started to go out to her.
She was a householder who had a beloved guest coming. Hospitality was so important in those days that if you didn’t work to make even a stranger feel welcome. And here a dear friend, a great teacher, a spiritual leader, was coming to stay. Of course Martha would want to make a wonderful meal after spending the day cleaning the house. And everyone would have enjoyed the fruit of all her work – a wonderful meal prepared and served and cleaned in a warm and welcoming setting. And there has been a lot of ink spilled defending Martha, despite what Jesus said to her. Some say he scolded her, but maybe not. Whatever his tone was, he was clearly saying that he did not see things as she did, but supported Mary’s choice to sit at his feet and listen to him.
This story seems to invite us to choose between Mary and Martha. Are we going to be like Martha, running around in 10 different directions, busy, busy, busy, even if our business is in service to others, or are we going to be like Mary – take time out from the busyness and sit at the feet of Jesus. Are we going to let ourselves stop doing and just be – be with God, be with ourselves? I’d bet that even Martha’s heart longs to be a little more like Mary. Who wouldn’t want permission to sit and do nothing but be with the Lord. Who wouldn’t want assurance that this is what Jesus wants from us, not our busy, busy service. We still have society’s, or our mother’s expectations to deal with of course, but to believe that Jesus wants nothing from us except our attention? Nice.
Do you think that that was what Jesus was saying? “Mary has chosen what is better,” is what this translation says, “and it will not be taken from her.” Was he talking about the choice to sit over the choice to work? Was that the better way to serve him? Of course we can’t be sure, but it is a very rich question – what is the “better” thing he is talking about.
I can’t believe that Jesus is against the work that Martha was doing. I’m sure he appreciated her hospitality tremendously. And Jesus often encouraged people to put their faith into action – go and do likewise – go be a neighbor, go share your wealth with the poor , go heal and teach and cast out demons in my name. I came across this little adaptation of the passage from Matthew 25 that says “I was hungry and you gave me food.” This one goes: I was hungry, and you formed a humanities club and discussed my hunger. I was homeless, and you preached to me of the spiritual shelter of the love of God. I was lonely, and you left me alone to go pray.” Yes, I felt convicted by that one. I can’t believe that Jesus was saying it is always better to be prayerful and contemplative than it is to take action. I am reminded of a wonderful poem called Dreams, by Leonard Lincoln Ivel, who gave me permission to share it with you. His delivery is better than mine, but here goes: “When asked if wealthy I would be, this fantasy occurs to me. To rise each morning from my bed where safely I have laid my head, and spend the day quite burden free to work at what amuses me. To have each day no need to care of earning that which keeps me there. Not mansions, power, or wealth extreme but simply free to live this dream. And oft when giving answer such, I find my friends would like as much. And then I think, how could it be for all to live this dream with me? Who would rise and labor hard to keep the villains from our yard? And who would off to work each day to make this nearly heaven stay? And so it now occurs to me that while I wish this dream could be, we all must simply do our part, what err is nearest to our heart, and recognize tis fantasy that all in life could be free.”
This strikes me as eternal wisdom, that we need to balance our leisure and personal interests with productivity and concern for others. There must be more to this “better” thing. As I read this passage slowly, line by line, the words that lingered and kept running through my mind were “Mary has chosen.” Mary has chosen. She decided she wanted most of all to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen and she did so. I’m guessing that Martha appealed to Jesus only after huffing and puffing, glaring at Mary, and otherwise making her displeasure with Mary known. But Mary stayed put. Martha also made a choice, but doesn’t seem at peace with it. Perhaps she was uncertain of her choice, perhaps she still was deciding whether to make that fancy dessert she’d planned or just go with something simpler. Perhaps she was hearing bits and pieces that stirred her longing to hear more of what Jesus was saying so she found it harder and harder to focus on her work. Instead of making a new choice, letting go of some things and joining them in the living room, she tried to impose on Mary’s choice. She not only wanted Mary to buy into the choice Martha made, but she tried to rope Jesus into the mix. This is called triangulation, and it is not a good thing to do – not just to Jesus, but to anyone, whether one of your children is trying to get you to force the other to do something, or your spouse wants you to talk to your mother about a pet peeve. People have tried to get Jesus to mediate their disputes before – “tell my brother to give me my inheritance,” but Jesus won’t do it. He will barely answer a question directly.
Jesus at least answers Martha’s request. He basically tells her no, he won’t make Mary go help her in the kitchen. I imagine him not scolding, but loving and kind in his words. Martha, dear Martha. He acknowledges her distress, he has noticed how worried and upset she is, and he cares about this. But he knows the solution is not to have Mary join her. He tells her there is no need for her to be concerned about so many things, but that only a few things are important, indeed, only one thing. He does not go on to say what that one thing is. Perhaps it is about owning your own choices and respecting the choices of others. Mary didn’t nag at Martha to come out of the kitchen and sit. She didn’t try to convince Jesus that Martha was wrong. Perhaps the better way is the way of respect for self and others and the choices that they make. Perhaps the better way is to have the courage to act on your choices, even when they defy society’s expectations of you.
Martha’s distress shows that she did not feel she had freely chosen what she was doing. I can identify with that, can’t you? Sometimes I try too hard to meet someone else’s expectation of me and feel like I “have” to do something. Sometimes there are consequences to the choice I would prefer to make that I don’t want to risk, so I feel like I “can’t” do something. Sometimes I need others to make the same choice in order to feel validated or confident in my choice. But those ways of thinking take me away from myself, and away from Jesus. I believe Jesus very much wants us to listen to our own hearts desires in the choices we make. Ours is a God of freedom, a God of empowerment. Of course we can’t have everything we want, as Len’s poem so eloquently reminds us, but we can take responsibility for the choices that we make. We can value them and be at peace with them, even as we respect the choices that others make. Whether your choice is the kitchen, the classroom, the board room, or the coat room, honor it, do God’s work there, spread God’s love there, bless other people there. It is the better way, and it will not be taken from you. May it be so.
