How Do I Love Thee? – sermon on November 1, 2015
Ruth 1: 1-18 In the days when the judges ruled in Israel, a severe famine came upon the land. So a man from Bethlehem in Judah left his home and went to live in the country of Moab, taking his wife and two sons with him. The man’s name was Elimelech, and his wife was Naomi. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in the land of Judah. And when they reached Moab, they settled there. Then Elimelech died, and Naomi was left with her two sons. The two sons married Moabite women. One married a woman named Orpah, and the other a woman named Ruth. But about ten years later both sons died. This left Naomi without her two sons or her husband. Then Naomi heard that the Lord had blessed his people in Judah by giving them good crops again. So Naomi and her daughters-in-law got ready to leave Moab to return to her homeland. With her two daughters-in-law she set out from the place where she had been living, and they took the road that would lead them back to Judah.
But on the way, Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back to your mothers’ homes. And may the Lord reward you for your kindness to your husbands and to me. May the Lord bless you with the security of another marriage.” Then she kissed them good-bye, and they all broke down and wept. “No,” they said. “We want to go with you to your people.” But Naomi replied, “Why should you go on with me? Can I still give birth to other sons who could grow up to be your husbands? No, my daughters, return to your parents’ homes, for I am too old to marry again. And even if it were possible, and I were to get married tonight and bear sons, then what? Would you wait for them to grow up and refuse to marry someone else? No, of course not, my daughters! Things are far more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord himself has raised his fist against me.”
And again they wept together, and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye. But Ruth clung tightly to Naomi. “Look,” Naomi said to her, “your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods. You should do the same.” But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!” When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, she said nothing more.
Mark 12: 28-34 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” “Well said, teacher,” the man replied. “You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love God with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.” When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions.
Sermon: How Do I Love Thee? by Reverend Doreen Oughton
So today we hear Jesus issue the great, 2-pronged commandment – love God with everything you’ve got, and love your neighbor as yourself. I started thinking early this week about how the world would be different if everyone who claimed to be a Christian actually obeyed these two commandments. Would anyone in the world go hungry or be homeless? Would there still be war? Would Christians put themselves in harms way to interrupt domestic abuse or gang violence? Would there be medical care for anyone who needed it? Could we slow or even stop environmental degradation? I’d like to think so. Such a world would surely be considered a kindom of God, right, and aren’t we called to help bring it into being? Where I got stuck was in translating these lofty ideals into concrete actions. Sometimes by refusing to fight, we allow abuse or oppression. Sometimes by giving to someone we take away their dignity or diminish their agency. Some situations are zero-sum, where if we benefit one it is at cost to another. And so I came around to thinking that there is not a clear, and certainly not a single answer to the question of how to love God and neighbor and even self. But I think there are guidelines.
We heard the beginning of the book of Ruth, the story of how Ruth clings to her mother-in-law, declaring, “wherever you go, I will go; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.” What was it that made this bond so strong that Ruth would leave her homeland and her own family to go to a foreign land, a place she would be considered unclean? And I wondered if their bond was forged in their shared loss. Both were widowed, and they mourned together. Perhaps through the opening of their broken hearts, greater love seeped in. Is there something for us to learn in that? Can we see losses and suffering as ways to increase our love for God and others? And I love how Ruth tied together all the parts of the great commandment. She made a covenantal promise that included God, herself and Naomi. She made it about faith.
Loving God with all we’ve got, I think, includes a kind of submission and thoughtful obedience to God. Our love grows from an orientation of trust. We trust that God loves us and wants good for us, and so we submit to that. Just as we want our children to obey us, not because we are control freaks, not for our ego gratification, but because we truly have their best interests at heart and often have a deeper and wider perspective from which to draw. We’ll hear more about Ruth and Naomi next week, and how Ruth pledges obedience, saying to Naomi, whatever you tell me to do, I will do. Here is another story of obedience:
A man had ten children and he had promised them that when he died they would each inherit 100 gold coins. As it happened when the man drew near to death his financial circumstances were not what they had been when he made that promise. The day came when it was apparent that he would die very soon. He called his grown children to him. One by one he gave each of his first nine children a purse with 100 gold coins. When it came time to give his youngest his purse he waved everyone else from the room.
“My child,” said the father to his youngest. “I have fallen on hard times financially so I do not have enough left to give you 100 gold coins. I have given you 20. But along with these 20 coins I also leave you my ten closest companions. Friendship is worth much more than gold. Please treat them kindly.” Within minutes the father was dead.
After the funeral and the period of mourning the youngest child took the 20 coins to pay outstanding bills and debts there were only 4 coins left when all was paid. The child thought, “This is really not fair! I do not understand. And now I must also be kind to my father’s ten friends.” Despite the feelings of anger and disappointment the youngest took the 4 coins and made a wonderful feast for the father’s friends. All of them came and there was much reminiscing and celebration around the table that night.
The next day the friends gathered and consulted with one another. “This youngest child of our dear friend has been so kind and hospitable. None of the other children have hosted us in this way. We must return the kindness.” So the ten friends each sent the youngest a small purse of money and they pooled their resources to also send two cattle. Some offered their assistance in teaching the youngest how to care for and breed the cattle. Some offered good advice in investing money. Soon the youngest had a large herd of cattle, many sound investments and was richer than all the nine older children. The father’s words always echoed in the youngest child’s head, “Friendship is worth much more value than gold.”
If we want to be obedient to God, we need to have some idea of what God is telling us to do. How do we do that?…. Study the bible, perhaps? We have the 10 commandments from the Hebrew Scripture. What are some of the things Jesus tells people to do? Forgive, show mercy, turn the other cheek, love your enemy, pray for those who persecute you. But then he has some specific instructions just for certain people. And so I think we need to stay awake and aware of how God is speaking to each of us. If you have a sense that the Spirit of God is directing you in a certain way, it is best to talk to a trusted spiritual adviser or friend about it. This is the work of discernment and it is not disobedient to go through a process before acting.
Loving our neighbor certainly includes self-sacrifice. I was struck by this story:
Two men had known each other since childhood. In fact they were inseparable friends until unfortunate circumstances sent them to live in separate and hostile countries. Now one of the men was a merchant. Since he traveled often he would try to visit with his friend from time to time. Hostilities between the countries grew. Still the merchant persisted in visiting his friend. During one visit it was noted that he was a stranger from another country and this was reported to the king. The king had the merchant arrested as a spy. And after a brief trial the merchant was sentenced to death.
The merchant pleaded with the king to allow him to go home and settled his affairs from this trip so his wife and children would have money to live on after his death. He promised – he swore an oath – that he would return to receive his sentence. The king refused until the man revealed that he had a friend in the kingdom who would stand in as security for him while he was away.
The friend was called and he readily agreed to take the place of his dear friend, the merchant, in prison while the merchant went home to settle his affairs. So it was agreed that the merchant had thirty days to go home and return. If he did not show his friend would die in his place.
Upon the evening of the thirtieth day the friend in prison was led to the executioner’s block. It seems that the merchant had not returned. Just as the execution was about to be carried out someone shouted, “I see him! I see the merchant! He is coming!” The merchant ran into the courtyard and up the stairs to the place of execution. He pushed his dear friend out of the way and laid his head on the block. At which point a great argument arose between the two friends. “I will not allow you to die,” cried the friend who had been in prison for the last month. “I am ready to die in your place.” “No,” cried the merchant, “I will not allow you to die for me.” The king and all his court watched with great puzzlement as the argument continued. Finally the king cried out “Stop!” He ordered the executioner to put down his axe and said “Send these two men to me.” When the two friends knelt before the king, he said to them, “I have never in my life seen such a demonstration of deep and abiding friendship. I cannot destroy it. And in fact I beg you to let me join you as a third. The love of such friendship is a rare gift.” And that is how those two men became companions of the king.
Self-giving love doesn’t have to involve laying down one’s life for another. Again, the Holy Spirit moves in people differently. Here are a few short stories of self-giving love at work in our time:
Cayden, a 3rd-grade boy who saw a classmate set his lunch tray down because he couldn’t afford to buy his food. Cayden started collecting bottles to redeem for money to help pay the debt of his peers on their lunch accounts. Others joined in and the whole school is now lunch debt-free.
Michael owns a restaurant, and one of his teen-aged employees was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Michael has offered to sell his 10-year business to help pay for her medical bills. He believes the business is worth $2 million.
Bobby was frustrated with the potholes in his community. The town’s efforts were too slow and sloppy, with his neighbors’ cars in jeopardy every day. So now, whenever Bobby passes over or by a pothole, he pulls over, takes out his tools, and gets busy filling it.
Catherine belongs to a booster club for the SF 49ers. She heard about a 15-yr-old fan surrounded by Seattle Seahawk fans who’d been booed by them. Catherine wanted to arrange for the youngster to go to a 49ers game, but found that the boy was a ward of the state and living in a homeless shelter. Catherine asked him what he needed, and she and the ladies’ booster group raised over $26K toward a college fund for him, and found him a safe and loving foster home.
And finally, I think a crucial element of love is joy. If “loving God” is an obligation you meet to avoid a future hell, and you do it out of fear, or as insurance, is it really love? Doesn’t love feel more like the puppy licking your face, hearing your name safe in someone’s mouth, something that drives out fear and revives your smile when you are tired? We may not be able to obey this commandment perfectly, we may not be able to right all of the ills of our world, yet, but I believe God’s promise that there is joy beyond our imagining if we but just move in that direction. God will meet us most of the way, but won’t drag us. Let’s go. Let’s do it. What have we got to lose?
