Not All About You – sermon on Jan. 31, 2016
Luke 4: 21-30 Jesus began to say to them, “Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” 22 All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his mouth. They said, “Is not this Joseph’s son?” 23 He said to them, “Doubtless you will quote to me this proverb, ‘Doctor, cure yourself!’ And you will say, ‘Do here also in your hometown the things that we have heard you did at Capernaum.’” 24And he said, “Truly I tell you, no prophet is accepted in the prophet’s hometown. 25
But the truth is, there were many widows in Israel in the time of Elijah, when the heaven was shut up three years and six months, and there was a severe famine over all the land; 26yet Elijah was sent to none of them, but to a widow in Sidon. 27There were also many lepers in Israel in the time of the prophet Elisha, and none of them was cleansed except Naaman the Syrian.” 28When they heard this, all in the synagogue were filled with rage. 29They got up, drove him out of the town, and led him to the brow of the hill on which their town was built, so that they might hurl him off the cliff. 30But he passed through the midst of them and went on his way.
1 Cor 13: 1-13 13If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
Sermon: Not All About You by Rev. Doreen Oughton
So let’s talk about ego. When I say the word, what do you think about?… In psychoanalytic circles, it is considered the part of the mind that mediates between the id and the superego, but in a more general sense it is understood as relating to our sense of self-esteem. Some people might have an inflated ego – thinking more of themselves than is warranted, and then there are those with low self-esteem, thinking less of themselves than is warranted. (trophies for everyone!)
It’s not just about self-esteem, however, it is about a fundamental sense of self. When babies are born they can’t really differentiate between themselves and their primary caregiver. (holding the baby) It takes a little while before they see that they are a separate being, and they spend time sorting out where they end and another begins. This is the start of ego development. And as children grow, they try different things, have different experiences, and sometimes develop a stronger sense of self – who they are, what they like, what they can do, what they are good at. They may be told by others who they are and what they like and what they are good at. Sometimes this fits with their own experience, and sometimes it doesn’t.
In terms of functioning in this world, a healthy ego is desirable – both in terms of differentiation from others, and in terms of having a reasonable sense of confidence in your value and abilities. I know I struggled for a time with co-dependence, taking on the feelings, wishes, and likes of others as my own. When I was in college, and my boyfriend loved scary movies, I suddenly loved scary movies, even though I’d hated them before and now. Other people’s problems became my problems, and my sense of worth came from pleasing others. I lost sight of who I was, and I felt that loss. I was confused and, even though I was desperate to please others, I was no picnic to be around. The stakes seemed so high, and I put a lot of pressure on those who were supposed to be close to me. Just tell me who you want me to be and I’ll be it.
I’ve done some work, and I think I’m mostly past that now, although it is still can seem important to me to be liked, to receive affirmation from others that I am good at what I do, that I am nice to be around, that I am valued, that I have value. And yet I’ve had some amazing experiences where what I do and what I am like and who I am has been completely irrelevant. I remember facilitating a DUI class just for women – various ages, a wide range of life experiences, and there was real healing and transformation going on. It was amazing. And I didn’t feel like I had much if anything to do with it. It transcended anything I had to offer. And I still recall it as one of the highlights of my career in counseling. In a way that’s hard to describe, I felt like I was nothing, but in a way that didn’t make me feel like nothing. I was there, but nothing was about me. It was joyful, it was freeing. There was a sense of oneness and a sense of acceptance.
I hear in the readings this morning a focus on what it means to be something, and what it means to be nothing. We have the story of Jeremiah’s call in the responsive reading. Jeremiah is a child, probably 12 or younger, hearing God tell him, “I knew you even before I formed you in the womb.” God says Jeremiah was consecrated before his birth. But Jeremiah doubts he is able to be this “prophet to all nations” for which he has been consecrated. His ego kicks in, as he considers his abilities, his worth, and determines he is not up to par. But God makes it clear, this is not really about Jeremiah – not about what he has determined about his abilities and his worth. It is about what God has done and will do through Jeremiah. All Jeremiah needs to do is to get his ego out of the way.
And we have Paul’s letter to the Corinthians. The church is riddled with conflict, and much of this first letter from Paul is mediating their disputes. It is like a war of egos, as people in the church claim the importance of their own gifts. There are arguments about which gifts are more or most important. Is it speaking in tongues, is it interpreting tongues, is it gifts of prophesy, or is it helping the poor, or is it about sacrifice? Have you ever known someone to take pride in being humble? (joke about “look who thinks he’s nothing”). At some points in the letter Paul. In chapter 12 he talks about the importance of all the gifts – all like different parts of one body, all needing to work together, none more or less important to the entire body than any other. But here he says that the gifts themselves don’t really matter at all. They are nothing. The people who possess these spiritual gifts are nothing.. except when grounded in love. Divine love is the thing that makes nothing something. Love is the thing that outlasts every ability, every skill, every personality trait, and all knowledge. Without love, there is nothing.
Finally we have Luke’s story of Jesus’ first sermon in his home town of Nazareth. We heard last week Jesus’ reading of the Isaiah scripture, and his opening line that within their hearing that day, the scripture – about one anointed to bring good news to the poor, etc, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor” – has been fulfilled. And today we hear the rest of his sermon. Now I’m guessing Jesus wasn’t a manuscript preacher – that he didn’t plan on being so harsh with the congregation. But he picked up on something, I don’t know what it was – but something cued him in that they were taking him the wrong way. Luke tells us that they spoke well of him, that they made the hometown connection – he’s Joseph’s son! Something in that rubbed Jesus the wrong way, and he talks about how they will quote a proverb – “doctor, cure yourself.” Maybe since he said he’d come to proclaim good news to the poor, they were making snide remarks / innuendo about the poverty of his family. There’s just something about this exchange that makes me think their egos were a problem. They took pride in his gifts for speaking, but made themselves superior. They felt entitled to his miracle magic – let’s see what he’ll do for us. Perhaps Jesus thinks they have taken this identity as God’s chosen people a little too far, or have gone in the wrong direction with it. Being God’s chosen people doesn’t make you something. In a way, it ought to make you nothing, nothing but love. I would say these people weren’t there. His words felt like an attack on their egos, threatened their sense of who they were so much that they wanted to kill him.
A healthy ego may help us function in the world of humanity, but I wonder if in the divine realm the point is to be without ego. But I think its a process. I think we become the nothing but love when we willingly surrender our ego, not so much when we’ve never been able to form one. We can be absorbed into the true one-ness after we have experienced a sense of separateness. And we get all these chances to practice setting aside our ego! We might sing in the pick-up choir for the joy of it, without worrying about whether we are on pitch. We worship together and work together (newsletter team). We set aside our own opinions to listen respectfully to another. We get to think about and act on what is best for other people instead of what we prefer. We are invited to worry more about the feeding of the hungry and the housing of the homeless than we do about how overtaxed the wealthy are. We can open our ears and our hearts to the experiences of others who are different than us, and believe them when they say they are treated unfairly because of their race or religion, even when these truths hurt. What would it be like to let go of that ego, to let ourselves be nothing but love, God’s love? Would it hurt? Is it scary? Or is it like coming home?
