“The Debt Crisis” – Sermon on Sept 11, 2011
September 11, 2011
Scripture: Matthew 18: 15-35
Jesus said, “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”
Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?”Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything. ’And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.
Sermon: The Debt Crisis
by Rev. Doreen Oughton
I was so tempted to skip this gospel passage. With the hurricane threats a few weeks ago that kept people away from church, I had a little wiggle room. But unless I have a really good reason not to, I try to stick with the lectionary recommendations, so that I don’t distort the gospel message by focusing only on what I am comfortable with. I included the reading that was scheduled last week, because I believe it does tie in with today’s passage, Peter’s question to Jesus about how many times to forgive coming right on the heels of Jesus’ discourse on the lengths one ought to go to iron out differences with brothers and sisters in faith.
And on the surface it seems quite appropriate to reflect on a gospel passage about forgiveness on this anniversary of a terrible wrong done to our nation. But oh my goodness there is so much about this passage that I struggle with when I really dive into it. I love the idea of forgiveness, I believe in forgiveness. I try not to hold grudges, I believe I am tolerant, even understanding of limitations and shortcomings of others. I generally give people the benefit of the doubt, assuming they don’t mean to cause harm. I forgive myself my foibles and foolishness, and absolutely believe in and bask in the freeing power of God’s forgiveness. But as I really study this passage, it seems to me that my ideas about forgiveness are not Jesus’ ideas about it.
In my mind, forgiveness is tied to resentment. If I feel hurt or angry by something someone has done to me, I can play it over and over in my head, reminding myself of the injustice, let myself get caught up in resentment and self-pity, feeling like a victim. Forgiveness is the thing that frees me. Instead of replaying the event that hurt me, I can put myself in the other person’s shoes, remind myself that we are all flawed and do the best we can. I can just let go of the resentment and feel better. To my mind, I don’t have to reconnect with the person who hurt me, though I might. I tell people often that forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. Forgiveness does not mean you don’t set boundaries. I can forgive my ex for the cruel words he spoke to me throughout our relationship, and even the physical abuse that came at the end. I can understand how damaged he was himself and wish him healing and wholeness. But I wouldn’t want to see him again. I wouldn’t want to give him a chance to say more hurtful things. That would just be foolish, wouldn’t it? I’m reminded of the adage, “Hurt me once or twice, shame on you. Hurt me three times, shame on me.”
But I think that Jesus’ message here does connect forgiveness with reconciliation. The whole section before this he talks about doing whatever you have to do to keep from stumbling in one’s faith, or from putting a stumbling block before others. He talks about the shepherd’s efforts to find the one lost sheep out of a flock of 100. And here he talks about how important it is to confront a fellow church member who has sinned. Some translations say, “who has sinned against you,” but others leave it at “who has sinned.” Jesus says you can’t just write them off, you have to do everything you can to heal the situation, to help that person stop sinning, whether against you or against another or self, or God. If the person doesn’t listen to you, get others to help, widen the circle of people who are trying to save that lost sheep. Only if they don’t listen after all these efforts can that person be treated as a Gentile and a tax collector. And remember how Jesus treated the Gentile and tax collector? With hatred, animosity or shunning? No. With kindness and compassion. That’s how much Jesus stresses the importance of staying connected.
That passage itself poses quite a scenario. Imagine what it would be like if someone from your church asked to talk to you about something you’ve done, whether to them or to someone else, or even just a personal habit that might be destructive. Maybe it’s hard to hear, and you get defensive, or maybe you think they are just wrong, or out of line. And then they go and get two more members of the church to join the discussion, and finally bring it before the church Council. Can you imagine feeling loved and cared for in this situation? Can you imagine that you might actually feel saved, like the lost lamb? You can imagine the kind of love and tenderness that must be communicated in such a situation to have that result. This would be no hit and run of criticism and judgment. Hard stuff Jesus is asking here.
Then Peter, maybe wanting to show Jesus that he gets it, maybe wanting to test the limits, asks his question. Should I forgive a personal offense as much as seven times, Lord? This seems to be quite pushing the boundaries of forgiveness to Peter, and I’ll tell you, to me too. Has anyone here forgiven someone, besides maybe a young child, SEVEN times. Have you had a friend that blabbed your confidences time after time and you keep sharing them? Have you continued to make dates with the guy who stands you up over and over again? Do you keep sharing your accomplishments with your parent, hoping endlessly for praise and respect that never comes?
This is where my notions of forgiveness kick in. I can get past my anger at these situations, but I won’t keep sharing confidences, I won’t keep making dates, I won’t keep going to that empty well looking for approval from someone who can’t/won’t give it. I pull back, I stop expecting or even hoping that things will be different. I believe I am being wise, accepting reality. I feel bad for people who don’t have this wisdom. And so I struggle with this passage. And it’s not just what Jesus says in this passage, it is the way he lived his teaching. He was steadfast in his commitment to staying in relationship with people no matter how many times they let him down. Look at his relationship with his rock, Simon Peter, the one who asked this question. Peter got it wrong so often, and still Jesus promised to build his church upon him – upon his faith and proclamation. And Peter denied him at the end, and abandoned him. But still Jesus came back to him, to all the disciples who abandoned and denied him, breathed his spirit into them, commissioned them to be his ministers. He didn’t draw the line anywhere. He kept calling them to be their best selves. He kept believing in them. He forgave them fully, completely, with no limits on his relationship with them. And over time, it changed them.
And I believe that forgiveness can change people, has the power to call them to their best selves. I remember a conversation in which a woman was acting out in destructive ways and was riddled with guilt and shame. It was suggested that she needed to forgive herself, but she said she couldn’t, certainly not until she had at least stopped doing what she was doing, if then. But something happened, she read something or heard something that opened up the possibility that she could be forgiven even before she stopped. And just that little crack was enough to start turning things around. Accepting the forgiveness first enabled her to stop the destructive behavior.
I think about the story Jesus tells in this reading, about the slave who owed the king a ridiculously high amount of money. It would be considered millions in our economy. I’m guessing a slave could never run up a debt that high, and that Jesus used this amount in his story to make a point about what was owed and what was forgiven. His next point was that this slave was also owed, but a smaller amount, but was unwilling to forgive as he had been forgiven. And then comes the part of the story that I really hate – how the king finds out, takes back his forgiveness, and hands him over to be tortured. The king didn’t even forgive twice, let alone seven or seventy times like Jesus tells us to do!
I don’t know what to make of that last part. Maybe Jesus said it, maybe gospel writer Matthew added it in. He often makes use of the idea of throwing sinners to outer darkness with weeping and gnashing of teeth. Maybe he didn’t quite know what to do with Jesus’ teachings on forgiveness either. But that part is not consisted with the rest of the message, and is probably more in line with the way we people think about things.
But when I think about the power of forgiveness, this story reminds me that being forgiven is not a passive thing the way Jesus teaches it. In my way of thinking about forgiveness, I, the forgiver, am the only one who needs to do anything. I can let go of my resentment and wish the offender well in my heart and head without the other person needing to do anything, without the other person even being aware of it. My forgiveness is not likely to change a person. But if I take the time to connect, if I am steadfast about wanting to keep the relationship whole and healthy, then I do ask something of the other person, and that has the power to change them. I ask them to really acknowledge the harm, I ask them to take responsibility. I don’t make my forgiveness conditional upon that. I don’t ask them to earn my forgiveness, but I do ask them to live into it.
The slave in the story did not really understand that he had been forgiven. He thought he’d gotten away with something, figured it was his charm, his pitifulness, some way that he manipulated the situation that got him off the hook. He certainly wasn’t changed by it. So was the king wrong to forgive him? Was he a sucker? Seems like he felt like one given his anger and retribution after. But what would Jesus have done? Gone to the slave and explained what he did wrong? Taken 2 or more others from his church to try to lovingly confront the man? Showed him the impact on his debtor and family of his actions? Breathe his Spirit into him? Bring him to the foot of the cross? Invite him to touch his wounds, keep calling to his best self?
I still feel that this teaching is a bit beyond my grasp. I still have a terrible fear that I am somehow telling people in abusive relationships to stay put, to keep believing that the beatings will stop. I still worry that I’m telling people to go back to that well that is empty, to keep looking for love in all the wrong places. I worry that I am encouraging victimhood. That is how these words of Jesus can strike me, but they are not my words. They are Jesus’ words. And I find it hard to believe that Jesus would ever encourage people to accept victimhood. I believe he came to expose it and end it. And so I believe there must be a way to set a boundary for safety and still believe in and call to another’s best self. There must be a way to use forgiveness to build whole and healthy relationships between all these members of the body of Christ.
Maybe the key is in seeing ourselves more as the one who has been forgiven than the one who needs to forgive. I was intrigued by this quote: Many wise people seemed to be saying that you can’t forgive. You can only be forgiven. And that quality, that substance, that divine medium of forgiveness is what you pass on when, paradoxically, you forgive. Accepting forgiveness is the liberating key to the debtor’s prison of resentment where you sit in the self-imposed debris of your life.
The practice of forgiveness, the way Jesus teaches it, redefines justice. It can no longer be about retribution and retaliation, not about rejection and resentment. God’s brand of justice holds open the possibility of a new future, a way through hurt and pain that can lead to resurrection and new life. Accept a forgiveness that has the power to change you. Let yourself fill up with that so it spills over into all the world. May it be so.
